Not all those who wander are lost
Date published 16 December, 2020
There is always a story
I was sitting on a bench, enjoying the afternoon sun, with the sea lapping politely at the shore just a few metres away.
The promenade is wide, at this point, almost a square. People mill around here, rather than walk purposefully through. With 6 different exit points there are multiple routes across it, and somehow no one collides. It all works well, with the occasional double shuffle at the last minute, and the knowing glances, briefly acknowledging the near collision.
Two men sit on the low wall by the sea, talking. A third arrives to join them, on a very shiny bicycle, and enthusiastic greetings are done. They seem to be planning to meet tomorrow, right here, exactly as they are in fact already doing.
A family go by, the parents pausing. The young child is on his knees, with a toy truck, pretending the pavement patterns are roadways.
A lady goes by, laughing heartily, holding her phone out in front of her, lost in the conversation with someone not in the square. But very much in the loop.
A cafe owner lingers at the table where 4 people are gathered to eat, and talks at length with them. I suspect this may not be their first visit.
You know what is going on here, I am people watching. It is a big part of exploring a place, just noticing the people. Of course, I only snapshots, single scene extracts from the movies of their lives. I hear a few sentences, I see just one small part of their day. From that my mind, in the warm sun, makes up stories, often fascinating extravagant life stories, all implausibly extrapolated from that brief time near them. Who knows, they are probably doing the same with me.
Of course, my imagined insights into their life before and after they show up in the square is almost certainly nonsense. But though my story is probably nonsense, they do have a story. They do arrive there from another place, another situation, another conversation. That short few minutes in the square is an out of context shot, before which is a whole lifetime of other stories, weaving together situations to bring them to that place, and in that way.
I had all afternoon. My next appointment was at a coffee shop nearby, and I was due to arrive there whenever I wanted. I was on a wander, with no agenda, and no schedule. But I noticed something about how easily we get our dealings wrong.
Because whether you are on the town promenade by the sea, or at a social event, or in a business meeting, you can too easily do what I did. You see, and hear, a moment of a person's journey, a sentence of their whole life's talking, and react as though there was nothing else before.
There was always something before.
And not factoring that into our response is a source of so much misunderstanding.
We are happy snappers!
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